Christmas with Khmu

We had an early morning border crossing to Huay Xai, Laos and touched the Mekong River for the first of hopefully many times. With one dollar equaling about 10,000 kip, we felt like millionaires when we were handed a rubberband wad of kip at the money exchange.

We were the last two to fill up the bus to Lam Nam Tha. This meant we got to sit with everybody elses' backpacks once we stepped across all of the rice sacks. The ride was long, bouncy, and winding making for an eventful trip. Having the early morning river crossing, we left Thailand with nothing in our stomachs except for doxycyclene, our malaria medication. That didn't go over well with Laura who began feeling nauseus after the first few 180 degree turns. It wasn't long before she had her head in a plastic bag and became the main attraction for the back of the bus. Guess the "Don't take on an empty stomach" and "May cause nausea" warnings apply to her. We survived the bus ride and arrived in Lam Nam Tha late afternoon.

We went to Lam Nam Tha to join a hill tribe trek through the Nam Ha National Protected Area (NPA). Along with an Israeli couple, we signed up with the UNESCO-sponsored Nam Ha Eco-tourism project for a two day trek to visit Ban Nam Talan, a Khmu and Lecten village. Khmu and Lecten are two of many hill tribes in the area.

As we took our songthaew to the trailhead, a bamboo roadblock with two adjacent Lao PDR soldiers stopped us. Our driver along with our two guides were discussing the situation when suddenly a gunshot was fired in the forest. The American and Spainiard (that's us) nearly hit the truck bed while the Israelis did nothing more than glance in the direction of the noise. Turned out the Lao military was training in the area so we would not be able to use the trailhead. As we left the training area, two Lao military men came out of the jungle with their back covered with tree limbs; they resembled the hollywood depiction of Viet Cong in many Vietnam movies.

We began our hike where it normally would have ended. The initial climb was steep and difficult due to our gelatin travel legs. We finally reached an overlook of steep mountains of thick green jungle.

Close to the overlook, our guides prepared christmas lunch.

The lunch was sticky rice with spicy tomato, smoked cabbage, and beef with stringbeans served in forest leaf bowls (made by our guide) on a banana leaf tablecloth. The sticky rice is rolled into a ball and dipped or scooped into one of the other dishes, then consumed, no silverware necessary!

As our hike continued, Laura stepped on an unstable stick and sprained her ankle; her luck on this trip is only getting worse.

Luckily, she was able to put some weight on her foot to continue without being carried, but we had to slow our pace. We arrived in Ban Nam Talan one hour before dusk.

Laura nursed her ankle while the rest of us enjoyed a bath in the village river.

Khmu women brought food, firewood, and water to a nearby hut to cook us dinner. It was difficult to see the christmas dinner chicken and duck go in alive. After our sticky rice with meat and vegetable dinner,

our Hmong guide, Duly, entertained us with Hmong stories and riddles (see the end of this post). The stories and riddles are still used by Hmong for entertainment at large gatherings. Often times, the riddles baffled us due to translation issues and a different manner of telling them. It was great fun! Surprisingly, that night Lao music boomed from on village home which has a hydroelectric device to produce electricity. To complete christmas evening, the village chief visited our hut for chief chat. We were able to question him about village life, elections, the justice system, etc. The funniest moment came when he was asked if village men could have more than one wife. He answered "It's too difficult to please one!" This has been my strangest christmas yet: gunshots, jungle hiking, sticky rice, sprained ankles, Hmong riddles, chief chat. What happened to christmas songs, Vermont snow, mom's dinner, and playing with nephews?

After a good night's sleep in the chilly mountain village, Laura's injury had improved and she was able to walk better. We started the morning by visiting the village school.

Children learn Lao language, songs, Lao history, and mathematics for five years. To continue their education, they must travel to the city; otherwise, they begin working in the village.

The Nam Ha Eco-tourism project is attempting to bring money to the region through tourism. They encourage villages to stop hunting the forest so sparse wildlife can recover. Nam Ha's dealing with the tiger farm attacks is similar to the Yellowstone region's dealing with wolf farm attacks; they offer payment to herders who lose buffalo to tigers. Throughout our hike, we didn't see any wildlife nor did we hear many birds. It's the first time I've walked through silent jungle. As we left the village, we saw these hides and questioned how successful the project could be.

We are moving South to Muang Ngoi Neua, a village only acessible by boat and where non-guided treks are possible. Post your response to the Hmong riddles below in the comments. Remember these riddles were used as entertainment prior to TV and radio. I'll give the answers in the comments in the future.

Hmong Riddle #1

I have leaves but no branches. I have fruit like a boner. What am I?

Hmong Story: Python Magic

One day, a girl with a dirty shirt goes to the jungle forest to collect firewood. She encounters a python and the python does magic on her. He tells her to change her shirt and then come back. The father notices his daughter bring firewood, change her shirt, and go back to the forest. He thinks this is strange and he follows her into the forest. He sees her go to the python. They python opens his mouth so she will enter. Just before she does, the father shoots the python which breaks the magic and saves the daughter.

Hmong Riddle #2

It goes out as small as a fog. It comes back as big as a pumpkin. What is it?

Hmong Story: Why men have white eyes

Once upon a time, man had all black eyes like dogs. Then, they could see the spirits. Spirits did not like that man could see them so they had a meeting with man and dog. They grabbed ash from a fire and threw it at the eyes of the dog. They spirit asked the dog, "Can you see me?" The dog replied "No." The spirit threw ash at man's eyes. It asked, "Can you see me?" Man replied "Yes." The spirit threw ash again and repeated the question. Man replied "Yes" again. The spirit threw lots of ash at man's eye and again repeated the question. Man answered "No." This explains why dogs have large pupils and can see at night while man has small pupils and can only see in daylight.

Hmong riddle #3

Two twin brothers always race. Noone ever wins. Who are the brothers?

Hmong belief: Reborn to Love

The Hmong believe that boy and girl twins have made a special request to the spirits. In a previous life, the boy and girl were lovers that were not allowed to marry, maybe because one was rich, the other was poor. So, they killed themselves and asked the spirits to be reborn together so they can marry. If twins love each other, the Hmong honor the spiritual request and expect the brother and sister to marry each other on earth.

Hmong riddle #4

I am a mountain with seven holes. What am I?

Akha belief: Birth defects

The Akha, another Lao hill tribe, believe that twins are a birth defect. If a woman has twins, the babies are killed. The mother is sent into the forest for one month to cleanse her body. The same occurs to any single child birth deformities like six fingers or toes.

Hmong riddle #5

When I ride the goat, it is happy to eat the grass. When I don't ride the goat, it is not happy to eat the grass. What is the goat?

Pairadise

Pai is described in Lonely Planet's Southeast Asia on a Shoestring: "Pai emerged from nowhere in a cool, moist corner of a mountain-fortressed valley along a rambling river. Foreigners stumbled through here on their way to somewhere else and realised Pai was a mountain paradise of easy living." They couldn't have been more accurate. The small streets of Pai were filed with Thai, Chinese, and caucasian tourists. Bakeries serving croissants, donuts, and other baked delicacies had their registers ringing. Restaurants, bars, and food stands ensured nobody went hungry or thirsty. Guest houses lined the river to accomodate Pai's neverending tourist stream. Finally, shops regularly sold their "Pailism", "Pairadise", and "All roads lead to Pai" T-shirts. This was the Thai equivalent to Colorado's Republic of Boulder! Pai is a four hour bus ride from Chiang Mai along winding roads through mountainous terrain. The town lies along a river in a valley surrounded by mountains. It's difficult enough to get to that you aren't sharing the town with every tourist in Thailand.

Laura and I decided this was the place to rent our motor scooter. The valley was large, and the population was small. Laura had experience driving her father's scooter so she started us into the valley of Pai. I've never had the rumbling power of a Harley Davidson under my control and this may be the closest I get. We rented a 125cc Yamaha scooter. I donned my helmet and shades as I opped into the driver's seat missing only an iPod loaded with Steppenwolf's "Born to be Wild". Luckily, as the high-pitched motor "weeeeee"'d at 60 km/h, I recalled the tune in my head.

Our first stop was Thom's Pai Elephant Camp. We requested a bareback elephant ride, and the lady proceeded to ask us if we wished to bathe with the elephant. Bathe with the elephant??? She then showed us a photo of people riding on an elephant that walked in a riverbed. Don't know if I'd call that bathing but sure, sign us up. We were to ride on Phanom, a gigantic elephant. As I approached Phanom, he lifted his front leg. I was told to grab his ear, step up on the raised leg, and throw myself over Phanom. Easier said than done.

Laura proceeded to do the same requiring a few butt pushes to get herself up there.

Finally, we were riding bareback on Phanom.

He waddled down to the river, occasionally wandering against his trainer's orders to get some fresh vegetation. Once at the river, we were told to dismount and remove any clothing that we didn't want to get wet. Then, I was told to mount Phamon behind his head while Laura remained on his back. Once mounted, Phamon entered the center of the riverbed. He proceeded to load up on water and then pointed his trunk back at us and soaked us! He did this enough to drench us both in water; then, he hunkered down his head and shook me off. Plop, right into the riverbed! Laura was then told to climb up to his neck where he same happened to her We repeated this five times, much to our delight. Even Phanom seemed to be enjoying it. When Phanom returned us to camp, we were elated to be on the best elephant ride ever.

The rest of the day, we rode our scooter around the valley stopping at bar, waterfalls, and wats (a good combo of nature, beer, and Buddhist enlightenment). We enjoyed the sunset over the valley from a mountain bar.

Now, we are leaving Thailand to Muang Sing, Laos. We are expecting to sacrifice many of the amenities we've had in Thailand. Don't miss the Lanna Muay Thai post below.

The Lanna Muay Thai Gym

I don't know where my fascination with fighting comes from. It probably started when my parents forced me to attend my younger brother's tae kwon do meets and I watched him spar. It was certainly impacted when Siberia-trained Rocky beat the steroid-pumping Soviet, Drago.

Then, there was that lazy summer afternoon when I caught ABC's Wide World of Sports replay Muhammad Ali versus Joe Frazier (the one Frazier won). There was that weekend night when my college roommate and I rented an obscure video called "Ultimate Fighting Championship 1"; that's when I was hooked. Now, mixed martial arts in the form of the UFC and Pride FC have gone mainstream, showing the US the many martial arts of the world.

In the US, I stuck to basketball as many of the martial arts opportunities didn't appeal to me. Boxing only used punches. Tae kwon do and karate was too much standing in a line and kicking air. I always admired my friends and relatives who did these but they couldn't inspire me to join them.

In Thailand, the most popular sport is muay thai, thai boxing. Major muay thai stadiums are in the city centers of Bangkok, Chiang Mai, and Phuket. During competition, fighters wear boxing gloves, shorts, a cup, and a mouth guard; that's it. They are allowed to use nearly all parts of their body to attack: punches, kicks, elbows, knees, and they learn to use these both from a distance and in close quarters. Head butts, hair pulling, and attacks to the privates are not allowed. In my opinion, the multiple forms of attack and defense make muay thai the most practical stand-up martial artform. Unfortunately, you won't see Jackie Chan doing it in the movies as the flying axe kick isn't a muay thai specialty.

With this in mind, I spent one week training at Lanna Muay Thai Gym in Chiang Mai.

The gym is run by Canadian-born Andy Thomson. Andy spent 8 years studying tae kwon do in Scotland before going to Thailand. As a student of martial arts, he was drawn to muay thai and trained under a Thai trainer. He has lived in Thailand for 16 years and now trains beginners to professional fighters at his gym. Monday through Saturday, they gym runs two training sessions per day, one from 6:30 AM and another from 4:00 PM to 7:00 PM. Professional fighters are expected to train all sessions to have a chance to reach elite status.

Sessions follow a training routine. Each session begins with a run. Morning runs are more difficult ranging from 12 kilometer distance runs to shorter 8 kilometer mountain runs. The afternoon run is a shorter 5 kilometer run. Once back at the gym, fighters begin skipping (jump roping) to warm up their calf muscles and coordination.

After skipping, hand wraps go on

and shadow boxing limbers up the body for muay thai.

Shadow boxing is done in front of mirrors so fighters can pay attention to their technique. After shadow boxing, it is on to the heavy bag. This is where fighters practice their punches, kicks, elbows, and knees using full power; the focus is on accuracy, form, and power.

The bags take a pounding! Finally, throughout the training session, fighters are called to the ring to work pads.

Trainers hold pads and work the fighters attempting to simulate a fight. This is where everything is tested: accuracy, combinations, and defense. Forget to keep your hands up and the trainer will remind you with a knock to the head. Pads is really fun and challenging!

Andy has at least six to eight trainers working sessions with the fighters. The primary goal for the gym is to prepare their professional fighters for stadium fights, so they get the most time working pads. The great thing for me was that beginners aren't left to fend on their own. Each session, I got trainers to correct my technique and to work pads with me. Nus was the trainer who worked primarily with beginners, helping us with technique and pads.

I even got time with Andy to help work out the kinks in my punches and kicks.

To say they were just "kinks" is an understatement. I struggled to coordinate my body's hip and calf movements to generate the power in punches, knees, and kicks. I often found myself "soccer" kicking, leaning into my punches/kicks, or on my heels and losing balance. Occasionally, my body generated that fluid, powerful muay thai kick denting and swinging the heavy bag, an elusive but exhillarating sensation. It takes time and dedication to get the technique down, but mastering the basics is the key to success in the muay thai stadium. As Andy put it, "The best muay thai fighters are masters of the basics."

So, who attends Lanna Muay Thai gym? There are the regular trainers and professional fighters (both Thai and foreigners). There are Andy's five street fighter tough dogs who hardly allow a nap to be interrupted by simple muay thai.

When I was there, there was a telecom engineer on break, a bar owner, a personal trainer looking to pick up something new, a martial arts club owner, travelers needing exercise, and many more. Men, women, young kids are all invited as long as they bring the work ethic. A crazy array of people resembling the movie Fight Club.

As my sore muscles, bruised shins, and blood-blistered feet left the gym,

my evil eye glanced back at a stiff heavy bag, and I wondered if my body could release that fluid muay thai kick one more time to put life into that heavy bag.

To cap off my week training, Laura and I attended the Wednesday night fights at Kawila boxing stadium. Lanna muay thai fighters usually fight there on Friday nights. The fight card had 8 fights and ringside general admission seats were just 400 baht.

Fighters performed ceremonial dances and then were scheduled for 5 3-minute rounds. During the fight, a massive crowd of men gathered on one side of the ring. Each round, the men shouted and motioned numbers to each other in the most chaotic betting scene I've ever seen.

Also during each round, a live band enhanced the fight playing music similar to that played in India to raise a cobra from its basket. The rhythm of the music picked up with the action. The fight of the night came when one fighter was knocked down 3 times in 30 seconds by huge right hooks. As he got up from the third knockdown, he threw a desperation elbow at his opponent, knocking him out cold for one minute. It was a hard lesson on keeping your guard up at all times!

Now, a break from the travel blog to discuss those Chiang Mai checkers players from the previous post I was nieve to think that they were limited to checkers. The other day we passed them and multiple colored caps were on the board. There weren't any double caps. Wednesday night must be chess night! Coke cap=white king, Sprite cap=white queen, Orange Fanta=white bishop, Pepsi=black king, Sierra Mist=black queen, Orange Mirinda(Minute Maid)=black bishop, etc. Glad I didn't buy all that Coca-cola and end up showing up on chess night.

Food of Thailand

This post will either cause your mouth to water or nausea or both. The food in Thailand has been wonderful, making each meal an exciting journey. In every city, town , and village, we've easily found street vendors who can fry up amazing delicacies in minutes; it's fast food done right. A typical meal has one seated at a metal fold-up table with plastic chairs enjoying rice with chicken and vegetable or rice with beef and garlic.

Sick of rice? Options are endless in Thailand but I typically head to a Thai classic, Pad Thai Kai, noodles with chicken and vegetable.

Essentially, any meat can be added to these dishes making for numerous options. Curries are popular to stimulate the taste buds and chilies as potent as those south of the US border make their way into many unique dishes.

In the mood for a barbeque? It's not hard to find street vendors barbecuing up sausages, chicken, kebabs, and fish.

Feeling like un-fried vegetarian food? Thais make a spicy papaya salad (aka som tam) whose spiciness knocked my seasoned-spicy-veteran socks off!

Glad I had a beer on that order. Laura chose the less teary-eyed eggplant salad.

We've gotten suggestions from ex-pats and they rave about dim sum, a white, doughy delicacy filled with pork, shrimp and veggies, egg custard, or taro root. We like to have dim sum with a refreshing Thai ice tea.

Looking for a Thai snack while strolling the market? Living at the equator, fresh fruit is plentiful all year round. Bananas, mangos, papayas, oranges, watermelon, strawberries, ...you name it, they probably have it (although grapes and apples seem to be imported). Of course, some of the fruit treats require searching. Banana leaves are a popular wrap to contain food; the shape of the wrap lets the Thai customer know what is inside. As a farang (foreigner), I haven't a clue. This means I either dare to buy, pass for another day, or hope I catch someone with it in the street. Luckily, Laura's cooking class gave her tips and we've discovered the wrap for sticky rice with banana.

Banana overload can easily occur but a satisfying substitute exists, sticky rice with mango.

If you missed breakfast, salt and peppered quail eggs should provide the cholesterol you are lacking.

Don't forget the pork balls; they have that breakfast sausage sweetness.

Missing your crunchy cracker snacks, just simply replace with a crunchy fried critter.

What are our favorites? Well, nearly every night, Laura searches madly for the banana pancake vendor.

The pancakes can be ordered with any number of fillings but the popular choice is banana. A banana is sliced into a crepe-like dough and they are fried together. Condensed milk is poured over the pancake and chocolate syrup topping is optional. Can you smell the sweetness?

My favorite is the fruit stand.

They make shakes from any fruit they have, pineapple or banana being my preference. The fruit is blended with ice, milk, and palm sugar for a vitamin in a bottle, no Jamba Juice protein pack required.

All of the foods above cost thirty baht (less than a dollar) or less at street vendor stalls. This makes eating out an institution; many Thais find kitchens useless and don't have them in their home. Also, Thais don't stick to a scheduled eating method like westerners with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They drop by the market or a food stall when they are hungry meaning they might eat six small meals per day instead of three large ones. Sometimes, they are just eating for fun. Finally, one last interesting food fact, Thais don't have a verb meaning "to eat"; the closest verb is translated "to eat rice." Well, you made it this far, is your mouth watering or are you nauseated?

Now, a break from the travel blog to discuss some random interesting things in Thailand. In Chiang Mai, each night as we stroll back from Laura's banana pancake vendor, we see too older Thai gentlemen huddled next to a beat up chess board. They are playing checkers, one with sprite caps, the other with Pepsi. Wonder what my odds would be if I purchased enough Coca-Cola and brought my caps to play? I bet my odds wouldn't be too good, especially against the Sprite guy; he has always got double Sprite caps.

The other day we went to our second movie since leaving the US. Did you know they play the royal anthem and show photos of the Thai king before each movie showing? The audience stands while photos of the Thai king as a prince, soldier, and monk are flashed. The royal salute is emotional, actually bringing tears to Laura's eyes at the last showing!

Ever heard of a Thai massage before? If you haven't, you should go get one. In Thailand, a full-body Thai massage, a full-body oil massage, or a foot massage for one hour costs only 150 baht (less than five dollars), another brilliant custom of the Thai culture. Laura and I had our first Thai massage yesterday. It was a deep, body contorting muscle massage that made me feel like a million bucks and Laura feeling like one was enough. Could you imagine if the US would adopt 5 dollar massages? Maybe then, even Massachusetts wouldn't have road rage.

Ever been to seven-eleven, that mini-mart getting its name from open hours of 7AM to 11PM? I've been to 7-11 more times in Thailand than I have in the US. They are as common in Thailand as McDonalds is in the US, and they provide all the necessary goods for a long bus ride. They make for a cheap breakfast stop, offering Thai tea, ice coffee, dim sum, and pork balls.

We're slowly entering malaria zone, where we'll be more cautious of mosquitos. We've had some mosquitos in our rooms over the weeks but very few. Could this be because of our friendly neighborhood gecko? I thought there were a lot of stray dogs and cats; there is at least one gecko per room at a guest house patroling the walls for our security. Other than their occasional chirps, they are virtually invisible. They don't even push geico insurance! I'll take them over a malaria pill any day.

Speaking of bugs, the Jungle Hut bungalows outside of Khao Sok National Park gave us the worst accomodations to date. It wasn't just the cold shower, hard bed, dim lighting, and tiny room. It wasn't that the wall boards making up the bungalow structure were improperly spaced learving 2 cm gaps where one could peer inside or out (free air-con?). It was the fact that I slept shirtless on a mite-filled bed and the red bumps on my back still haven't healed! Luckily, they weren't too itchy and have just been a cosmetic issue. Funny thing is, we stayed another night!

Public transportation in Thailand

Being in Thailand with no personal transportation means we're at the mercy of Thailand's public transportation. We were expecting something similar to what we found in Africa, contorting bodies, sore butts, and close calls on the road. Were we ever wrong. Thailand's roads are in fantastic condition making bus rides much more comfortable. Trains run along major road routes providing a nice long distance alternative.

Train tickets come in numerous classes, from sleeping cabins to private air-con cabins to general-seating cars that shouting food vendors frequent with the craziest Thai snacks. With the exception of the snacks, it's similar to the European train system.

Buses have been our primary form of transportation. First class is a double-decker beast with air conditioning, free snakcs like juice and potato chips, and a free restaurant stop along the way.

There is typically a subtitled Thai movie on board; we were lucky enough to get their latest Muay Thai (Thai boxing) release (think old Japanese kung fu shows). Second class gets you air-con but no other specialties; we've had an occasional bus with karaoke music videos having Latin-lettered lyrics to sing along to. Finally, there is third class which is an open window bus; these typically don't travel long distances.

Once at the train or bus station, it's time to hire somebody to get you into town. Taxis are the most expensive option but they get good business due to foreigner's familiarity. Songthaews are a second option. Songthaews are trucks with benches placed in a covered truck bed.

They hold six to eight people depending on the cargo people are carrying or truck bed size. Sometimes, they act as taxis and can be chartered. Other times, they run a regular route through town. They come in many shapes and colors; in large towns where they are the taxi, they are all the same color to make them easy to spot.

Once in town, there are many options. Tuk-tuks are the most widespread and there is no better sight for a tuk-tuk driver than clueless and confused tourists. They are known for either way overcharging customers or undercharging customers but then taking them to all of their friends' shops until something is purchased and then getting to the desired location. Tuk-tuks look like covered motorcycles or scooters that have been modified to carry at least the driver and two more people. The classic tuk-tuk found in Bangkok and Chiang Mai has the driver in front with the passengers riding in seats behind him.

In the small town of new Sukhothai, tuk-tuks are inverse Bangkok style, with passengers sitting up front.

Finally, in Ao Nang, tuk-tuks are multi-purpose motorbikes with a benched side cart capable of carrying up to four people or carrying freight such as sacks of rice or fruit.

So, how do Thais get around? They use all the transportation described previously except they know the reasonable price for trips. Trucks are the most popular 4-wheeled personal vehicle and many homes have a car. It seems that scooters are the number one choice and they can do a lot more than us on the typical two-seater.

Thailand lets foreigners rent cars, scooters, and bicycles so personal transportation is available. To date, we've only dared to brave the streets as drivers of pedal bikes

but our confidence is growing for a scooter-for-rent!